Confessions of a Messed-Up Missionary

Updated: Nov 21, 2019


Confessions of a Messed-Up Missionary

This testimony was written by a friend and mentee about his journey to become a worker in Asia. Some license has been taken to protect his identity.

​How a patient God is leading a broken man to Asia


“Lord, please protect Steve from the landmines in Cambodia.” That 4-year-old prayer is one of my earliest memories of church. Exposure to missions at a young age certainly had an impact on me. Yet my story is not as simple as, “I always knew I was going to be a missionary!”

God Can Use Anything

In July 2008 I was at a conference where 2,000 teens gave $90,000 in one night to build orphanages in Cambodia. A few months later during my freshman fall at university, a cute girl asked me why I had never been on a missions trip. Conveniently, I had just heard about a trip to visit the orphanages built from the youth conference offering. So I did what any college guy would do–I signed up for a missions trip to impress a girl.

To my dismay, the trip was canceled just as quickly as it was offered. That seemed to ruin all God’s perfect plans for my life. Discouraged, I asked my Bible study group to pray for me. One friend sent me information about an internship in another place in Asia. I was immediately intrigued, but also hesitant. Missions as a hobby seemed doable, but “evangelism and discipleship in the oppressed minority church” gave me pause. The internship sounded like it was only for the all-stars, which meant I was out.

Still, I couldn’t stop thinking about the trip. After hearing my excitement about it, followed by my reasons why I couldn’t go, my pastor called me out: “If you keep making excuses yo